The Creative Process

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." Pablo Picasso
What is it with becoming an adult? Somewhere between the teen years and the twenties we begin to take ourselves way too seriously for our own good. We trap inhibitions inside of ourselves and allow them to take root as we get older. Why do we fear our own creative process?

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." Joseph Pearce

During our adoption wait, I'm definitely learning the lesson of letting go of control in many ways and that includes my creative processes. This means letting go of the expectations of being perfect at every creative endeavor that I pursue. I have a tendency to quit before I even start. My problem is that I allow self doubt to creep in when I approach any project that requires creativity. It squashes any bit of enthusiasm that I have or may have once had and, thus, my creativity is virtually held hostage by it.

I've been procrastinating a project for a few months. The project is a lifebook for our daughter that we are adopting. At first I thought, "I'll just keep it simple", too intimidated by the idea of creating a "scrapbook" per say. I thought that if I create a "scrapbook" then that means I've got to make it perfect and create a masterpiece of a scrapbook; I have to design each page as if I have a college degree in scrapbooking, fully loaded with every dye cut, embellishment, and trinket known to man. And to make matters worse, I bought a scrapbooking magazine to generate ideas, but got even more intimidated, and naturally, set the project on the shelf for a few more months.
Now mind you, I am not creating this book for the Queen of England. It's for my daughter's eyes only, and she'll love whatever her momma does, right? Silly me! Somehow that thought never occurred to me throughout this whole drama.
"We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures...Take a risk a day -- one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it." Susan Jeffers

Determined to get over this hump, I gave myself some boundaries. I know myself well enough to know that I do well with boundaries; otherwise, I'd walk into the craft store, get overstimulated by all of the scrapbooking choices, have a panic attack, and be sent to a mental institution before ever beginning the said lifebook. The boundaries that I set were that I'd use only the following: an empty 8.5 X 8.5 scrapbook (smaller pages require less designing); a stack of Chinese-printed paper; one stack of colored paper; a limited number of stickers; one cutting tool; and scraping tape. The more narrow the choices, the better I can focus.
Not knowing what in the world I was getting into or where it would lead, I just started cutting. Layering paper. Taping. Collaging. And one thing led to the next, and I was actually having fun with it -- dare I say, an exciting adventure! I was learning to let go and let my creative processes take over. It was a miracle, people! Then I surprised myself even more -- I started making my own embellishments! I was actually gaining courage to take a risk or two with my creative impulses, and it was working to my advantage! I was getting SCRAP HAPPY!

So as it turns out, the book taught me a lesson or two. It challenged me to overcome the ridiculous expectations that I place on myself. I'll admit I'm no Martha Stewart, but I can improve my crafting skills to the point that I'm not hyperventilating at the mere thought of being creative.

My advice for fellow sufferers of creative paralysis -- allow creativity to take place in you. We were designed to be creative creatures. Provide yourself with a few boundaries, let go, and see what happens. Explore your potential. There are no mistakes in allowing your creative processes to flow. You'll discover that you're more creative than you think. And you'll feel great once you've done it. I did.

Happy Birthday!

Happy 35th Birthday to my love!

Farmers' Market Finds

Heirloom tomatoes from the Farmers' Market! Yum!! And just think, there are hundreds and hundreds of these tasty varieties growing on farms all over America, but unfortunately, most people don't know about these little treasures if they've only ever shopped for tomatoes at their local grocery store. It's a shame that grocery isles aren't overflowing with these locally-grown gems. It's no wonder that fast food has become the new "home-cooked meal" and obesity is at epidemic proportions -- few know that there is actually good food out there and loads of varieties of it right under our noses.

The isles at the Farmers' Market were over flowing with squash, eggplant, zucchini, and tomatoes this season. I found this recipe for grilled vegetable panini from Barbara Kingsolver's new book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. The website is a great resource for eating locally and the book is excellent. The vegetable panini was scrumptious, the perfect summertime dish!

It's been a lot of fun engaging in the art of cooking and baking during this wait. I just passed my 175th day of homemaking and can honestly say, I'm loving EVERY MINUTE of it! And there is so much more to learn! An exciting journey for this mother-to-be. Daddy-to-be is pretty happy about it too! Doesn't the saying go, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Latest Word

The latest word is that the CCAA is sending referrals through Nov. 21, 2005 LID, but it's not been confirmed. This is "okay" progress, but referrals through the end of November would be better. If this is true, then we'll have only 22 days worth of applications between us and our referral. When you can break it down into mere days, it feels good -- like we're finally getting out of the woods here... though it's still taking a month to match about 7 days worth of applications. We're still hoping that November 22 LID is not so big that it would take an entire month to match just this one day; however, it could. But we're hoping that it won't and that we'll be in the October batch...please, oh, please, oh, please!!

Almost there...keep pushing...boy, this is some long labor and delivery!

No Man is an Island

Recently I was inspired by this section from The Hidden Art of Homemaking in which Edith Schaefer describes our responsibilities as individuals. She explains that we are each an environment and we as "art forms" influence our surroundings and those around us merely just by being.

"But the idea of 'The Environment' brings other thoughts. After all we are an art form. I do not mean that we produce art consciously now, but I mean we are an art form, whether we think of it or not, and whether we do anything about it or not. We are an environment, each one of us. We are an environment for the other people with whom we live, the people with whom we work, the people with whom we communicate. And in this sense we do not choose an art form and create something in that form; we are an art form. People who come across us or who walk into our presence, become involved. There are various art forms we may or may not have talent for, may or may not have time for, and we may or may not be able to express ourselves in, but we ought to consider this fact -- that whether we choose to be an environment or not, we are. We produce an environment other people have to live in. The effect on them is something they cannot avoid. We should have thoughtfulness concerning our responsibility in this area. But it is an amazing thought that we are the art form God can use in this area of environment to involve others who come into our presence. Our conversations, attitudes, behaviour, response or lack or response, hardness or compassion, our love or selfishness, joy or dullness, our demonstrated trust and faith or our continual despondency, our concern for others or our self pity -- all these things make an difference to the people who have to live in our 'environment'. Enthusiasm and excitement infect other people..."

I was challenged to reflect further on this profound thought. What kind of environment am I creating daily for those around me, in my home and outside of my home? Is it one of chaos or one of peace? That of a party or more of a battlefield? How might I improve my environment?

Often times, as adults, we are guilty of reverting back to our childish ways and so throw our temper tantrum or sulk thus stirring up quite a tornadic environment. We must be reminded that we have a choice in how we respond to life's conundrums. It is in our responses that we foster our environment. We must always be aware that we are an environment -- no man is an island of and unto himself.

Wordless Wendesday

Small is Beautiful on a Sunday Afternoon

Where Would We Be Without Friends

I wonder where would we be without friends, one of God's greatest creations for the human race. I'm often amazed at the gifts of encouragment that God delivers to me through the people around me...particularly my closest friends. What seems to be a serendipitous union of sorts, is more often a purposeful orchestration of a friendship that grows and deepens us in countless ways. I'm very blessed to have dear friends that walk alongside of us during this wait...that hold our hand when we feel hopeless, whisper words to encourage us, and pray for patience for us when our patience meter is running low. I'm blessed to have these friends.


This is one of those friends who daily encourages me, particularly her thoughts today in They That Wait on the Lord.

Back from Vacation

It was so nice to get away from the Southern heat wave and relax on Lake Winnepesaukee in the company of family for the week. Now if only I could take a week-long vacation every month, this wait time might speed up a bit.

I did manage to check the Rumor Queen daily. The CCAA matched through 11.14.05. RQ is predicting an October, November, or December referral for us with LID 1212.05 based on the rate of recent referrals. December is a smaller month of dossiers, but November is a big one, with Nov. 22 being the biggest day.