Holiness

The journey to holiness can be found all around. I love what http://happycatholic.blogspot.com/ says today about Finding Holiness in our Families.

Wedding Anniversary

Today is our 9-year wedding anniversary. The years have gifted us a joy and fulfillment like none other that I've known. The Sacrament of Marriage is truly a blessing, like water on a dry, dusty soul. It's a place to seek comfort, find acceptance, discover self, relinquish self, give and grow. The love shared is profound. Not only does marriage possess romantic love, but a love much greater than ourselves, a sacrificial and unconditional love whose roots can only be from that which is Holy.

"'Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.' -- Saint-Exupery. For in fact, man and woman are not only looking outward in the same direction; they are working outward. Here the bonds of marriage are formed. For marriage, which is always spoken of as a bond, becomes actually, in this stage, many bonds, many strands, of different texture and strength, making up a web that is taut and firm. The web is fashioned of love. Yes, but many kinds of love: romantic love first, then a slow-growing devotion and , playing through these, a constantly rippling companionship. It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies and shared experiences. It is woven of memories of meetings and conflicts; of triumphs and disappointments. It is a web of communication, a common language, and the acceptance of lack of language too; a knowledge of likes and dislikes, of habits and reactions, both physical and mental. It is a web of instincts and intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges. The web of marriage is made by propinquity, in the day-to-day living side by side, looking outward and working outward in the same direction. It is woven in space and in time of the substance of life itself." -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

Optimism Amid Ambiguity of the Wait

"Ambiguity is one of the most difficult things to tolerate, and the intolerance leads to poor choices. Not knowing, not knowing how something will turn out, leads to impatience for an outcome. The impatience then results in one of the two actions: either a resolution is forced, or there is a move to retreat, to give up. Either way, the result cannot be optimal, for in every situation, a process is working, an intricate, complex process, which has its goal the highest outcome, the good of the whole, which we cannot easily see or grasp. This ability to allow the process to work can be called faith, and this faith is not a belief, this faith is not passive. The self-discipline needed to overcome the anxiety of ambiguity takes enormous effort to sustain....The truth is that every single moment of every single life is uncertain.....True power lies in accepting the fact that everything is uncertain in every moment; it is the truth and it is where our freedom lies. A small shift in thinking, a slight willingness to admit the possibility, and one can see that if everything is uncertain then anything is possible...My only hope is to embrace the uncertainty, rejoice in the ambiguity, let the process proceed. " - Beth Nonte Russell in Forever Lily

Read: During the Wait

My mind has been famished, for what seems like years, for words, poetry, literary inspiration, metaphors... starving for the opportunity to read. Over the past month, I've had the opportunity to devour books upon books to satisfy the craving. Below are a few of my favorites.



Relating to adoption:
The Chinese Adoption Handbook; this is an essential for anyone preparing for a Chinese or Korean Adoption

Forever Lily by Beth Nonte Russell; a woman's journey to her adopted child

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish that Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge

Relating to parenting:
Baby 411; the 411 on parenting

What to Expect the First Year

Baby Bargains

Relating to self help:
The Saints' Guide to Happiness by Robert Ellsberg

Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton

Fiction:
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant



No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance. - Confucius

Love Without Boundaries: Making a Difference

I was deeply touched by this blogpost today on Love Without Boundaries written by Amy Eldridge.

Today I happened upon an article about Marian Wright Edelman, who founded the Children's Defense Fund in 1973. As I read the following quote from her, I of course (as always), read the words and thought about how they relate to working with children who live as orphans:

'We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make, which over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.'

Sometimes it is very easy to look at how many children there are around the world needing help and almost be overwhelmed to the point of non movement. I think we would be hard pressed to find very many people around the world whose heart isn't affected by the thought of a child growing up without a mother or father to love them, but I think many people read the stories and hear of the needs and think, "what difference could I really make by helping even one of them?" I have actually been told this on several occasions, of course reminding me of the famous starfish story that every child we can touch is absolutely essential.

I had a very emotional conversation one day with the mother of one of the children we had healed in China. Her daughter is now their beloved child, but without the life saving surgery she received in China, her fate would have been quite different. I know when I think of the children we help, I almost always think just of the child and how we can make a difference to them, but in talking to this woman, I realized that when we touch the life of a child....the results to the world are so much greater.

The mom explained to me that the adoption of her daughter post surgery had changed not only their lives in an incredible way, but also the lives of those around them. For instance, she shared that the teachers and parents at her school now understand that "special needs" isn't a term to be feared, and that her neighbors now understand that real families are formed in many ways other than genetically. I was nodding about all of this as she then said, "and just think that someday her own children will know the story of how she was first healed in China and then adopted to the US." It was those three words..."her own children"...that really got to me. Because then I realized that when we work together to change the life of one child....that child will then have a chance to grow up healthy and most likely will have children someday as well. Children that might never have existed except for the very real fact that perfect strangers stepped forward to help heal their mom way back when she was just a little baby. How monumental is that? It really is not an overstatement to say that the very fabric of the world changes each time we are able to help give the gift of life through healing to a child.

So I reread the words of Ms. Edelman today and agreed that it is those perhaps seemingly small daily differences that do add up in astonishing ways to bring real miracles to this world. Miracles like baby En below, who now has a chance to grow up and be a treasured son, and maybe a doctor or a teacher or a writer, and yes....even a daddy himself someday.

Thank you EVERYONE who is helping to make a difference to children. You are a part of the whole rest of their lives to be sure, but isn't it amazing to think that you are even playing a part to future generations as well?

That is pretty heavy stuff, indeed.

Project Cooking : Chinese Cuisine During the Wait

Another goal that I'm working toward during the wait is learning to be a bit more advanced in the kitchen. The first thing that I did to get myself motivated, was to host a Pamper Chef from which I earned some wonderful kitchen tools including measuring cups, measuring spoons, stoneware, a chopper, and a pinch of enthusiasm for a new found skill. Secondly, I created a recipe rotation using www.cookinglight.com.

I'm trying my hand at Asian-inspired cuisine. I happened upon a great Asian-influenced Cooking Light recipe for nutty pasta toss with shrimp. Enjoy!

1 TBSP minced fresh cilantro
1 TBSP grated peeled fresh ginger
3 TBSP low-sodium soy sauce
2 TBSP crunchy peanut butter
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon rice vinegar
1/4 teaspoon hot sauce
1 garlic clove, minced
1 teaspoon dark sesame oil
8oz. medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 cup vertically sliced onion
1/2 red bell pepper, cut into (1/4 - inch) strips
1 cup bagged prewashed spinach
2 cups hot cooked rigatoni (about 1 1/4 cups uncooked pasta)

Combine first 8 ingredients in a medium bowl, stirring well with a whisk.

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add shrimp, and saute for 3 minutes or until done. Remove shrimp from pan. Add onion and bell pepper to pan; saute 3 minutes. Add soy sauce mixture, shrimp, and spinach. Reduce heat to medium; cook 2 minutes or until spinach wilts. Serve shrimp mixture over pasta.

Project Gardening:Thyme During the Wait

Before I became a full-time homemaker, I began planning how I might spend my time during the adoption wait. I considered what I wanted to accomplish and what projects I wanted to complete before bringing home our baby.

One of the things on my list was to bring color to our courtyard, using mostly low-maintenance potted annuals and perennials. Additionally, I wanted to create a culinary herb container garden using the herbs that I cook with most such as oregano, thyme, rosemary, basil, cilantro and parsley. However, I was very tempted by the variety of basil and thyme that I found at our local nursery which included chocolate mint, and pineapple basil as well as pineapple thyme, and such. So I might just need to expand as we go.

I've always had an interest in gardening but mostly felt intimidated by the undertaking. Though, I've discovered container gardens are a great place to start! I found a great resource, gardening for the novice gardener. I also found Organic Valley organic potting soil and compost available at Home Depot for very inexpensive.

It's important to bring a colorful and tasty palette to our very evergreen courtyard. Our courtyard is an extension of our home, a place to bond with new friends and old over a glass of wine and grilled dinners, a quiet and peaceful refuge from a bustling world, a place for our children to play someday, an oasis for butterflies and birds looking for a place to nourish their being, and, likewise, a place where our souls too can be renewed.

Wisdom

The past weekend, I'd been all too consumed with anxiety about what the future holds for our adoption and for the family for which we desire, as our plans are beginning to shift and sway a bit. Yesterday a desperate plea for wisdom, fresh air and a short walk did me good, unbelievably good. On that walk, wisdom became my companion and it gave me the clarity that I sought and restored my hope once again. It was truly God's gift.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:2-5

Patience

Unfortunately there is more talk of a slow down during the current wait. Patience is tried and tested. Every day seems to become a sorrowful stumbling block for the future, when in reality, the everyday offers bits of joy and hope. “Be joyful; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not waiting passively until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient, we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later, and somewhere else. Let's be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand."
- Henri J.M.Nouwen