Our Daughter's Birthplace

Curious to know more about the Province in which our daughter lives, I've been researching the Jiangxi Province. What an amazing place! I found this description here.

If you are a traveler looking for a place that will give you a variety of interesting options, then Jiangxi province in southern China is definitely the place for you! The pristine beauty of its misty mountains and fresh water lakes will enchant you. Its modern as well as ancient Chinese historical sites will whet your appetite for learning about its culture. To top it off, 'China's Capital of Porcelain' is located here, thus satisfying the shopper in us all.

Jiangxi province is situated in the middle and lower reaches of the Yangtze River.Jiangxi has a warm and humid climate with cold springs and winters, hot summers and dry autumns thus accounting for its four distinct seasons. Annual rainfall averages 1400-1800 millimeters and the average temperature of the province is 3-9C in January and 27-31C in July.

Jiangxi province is a showcase for natural beauty. Tourists will find it hard to leave its beautiful mountains, lakes and rivers. Particularly attractive is Poyang Lake, which is not only the biggest fresh water lake in China, but also the largest winter habitat for white cranes. When winter approaches, about 2800 white cranes will migrate to Poyang Lake to spend their winter. What a spectacular sight! On the east side of this lake is Mt. Lushan, a wonderful summer resort with its lush mountains, enveloping clouds and mists, rapid streams and numerous deep pools and waterfalls. Mysterious and enchanting sceneries nestle in its secluded valleys and deep ravines. Sudongpo, a well-known poet of the Song Dynasty (960-1279), in honor of the 'Cloud Sea' of Mt. Lushan for its ever - changing mist, wrote, 'The failure to get a real perspective of the mountain only results in the fact that you are right in the midst of it'. Another mountain - Jinggangshan enjoys a dual reputation. It is more widely known as the cradle of the Chinese revolution rather than for its natural beauty, which is, in fact, comparable to the more famous Lu Shan.

The historical sites of Jiangxi also attract guests from all corners of the world. Nanchang is the capital of Jiangxi. Tengwang Pavilion is located just west of Nanchang and is one of three famous pavilions south of the Yangtze River. This pavilion gained its reputation to a great extent because of a well-known poem called 'Preface to Tengwang Pavilion' by Wangbo, a reputable poet of the Tang Dynasty. Donglin Monastery is located at the foot of Lushan. It was built in 386 for the monk Hui Yuan (334-416), founder of the Pure Land sect of Buddhism. Hui Yuan spent many years translating Buddhist scriptures in this temple.

The highlight of Jiangxi travel should be Jingdezhen, which is known as the 'Capital of Porcelain' in China. Ceramics were produced here as early as 1,800 years ago in the Eastern Han Dynasty. Today, Jingdezhen remains a national center for porcelain production. While in this ancient town, tourists can visit many pottery factories and ancient kiln sites. In addition, Jiangxi is one of the ancient tea-producing areas in China. The Black Tea produced in Ningzhou City and the Green Tea produced in Wuyuan City are well-known throughout China.

The Daddy is Ready

We're just testing out all the new baby gear for the China trip. The Daddy looks ready to me so send those TA's (travel approval) ASAP!

1). Northface Coat for Beijing...packs light and is perfect for touring the Great Wall in winter. brrrrrrr!
2). Diaper bag backpack from One Step Ahead...okay, I'm officially obsessed with this backpack. It has more pockets for organizing than a semi-OCD mama and daddy could ever dream of wanting!

3). Baby Carrier from Ergo Baby...carries baby comfortably in three positions -- back, front and hip.

ARE WE THERE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope

I was thrilled and very touched to receive this sweet silver pendant from my mom and dad this Christmas. It's handmade by Second Sister who I mentioned here on my blog. The back of the pendant is inscribed with a Chinese Proverb: "Keep a green bough in your heart and a singing bird will come." How perfect is this proverb for us hopeful waiting parents! I've kept a green bough of hope in my heart for 2.5 years and my singing bird, Elyza, is due to arrive January-ish.

I've come to know HOPE in a powerful new light over the past few years. It has been an incredible source of strength on which to perch my weary soul. Hope's roots grow deep within my heart and, there too, reap and sow more when it seems barren. It has kept possible the impossible. Hope is truly the miracle in itself.

"Be joyful in Hope... Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Roman 12:12 and Roman 5:5

Always Inspiring

Thanks for the inspiration, Jaylove.

Lovely Shower

And as they sat among
the gifts and the stars

they ate
delightful lemony, chocolaty

cakes, and drank

fruity fizzy Izzes

and they laughed

and they cried

and read fortunes in their

Chinese cookies

and talked of mother dreams

and babies

then she realized

it was all for her

and a daughter an ocean away

and her heart was full

so much so

had there been

just one more tiny drop

it would have flooded

the heavens

Love,

Courtney

Thanks Klaud, Suz, and Hol for hosting a perfect shower!

Toys

I've registered for loads of toys for our daughter, but not sure which fall under the "safe" category. So I found Healthy Toys a very user-friendly resource for parents. Just type in the maker or the toy to get a safety rating. Many toys have not been recalled, but research shows that they contain potentially harmful, toxic materials. Oh, and check out these beautiful toys!

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

This now famous letter and editorial originally appeared in the September 21, 1897 issue of The New York Sun:

We take pleasure in answering thus prominentlythe communication below, expressing at the sametime our great gratification that its faithful authoris numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor—I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus? Virginia O'Hanlon

The Editor Francis Pharcellus Church replied:

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothingcan be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia,whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours,man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundlessworld about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosityand devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catchSanta Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus.The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see.Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
photo: here

Capturing Memories

My artist friend, Katherine, recently gave me this delightful little memory book, My Family, My Journey designed and written for adoptive families. The illustrations are lovely! It's adaptable for both domestic or international adoptions. I can't wait to start capturing my memories, for Elyza, in its pages. What a sweet memento!

Choosing to Live in Hope

Another inspiring Advent Reading from Henri Nouwen's Advent Meditations:
"I have found it very important to try to let go of my wishes and instead to live in hope... To wait with openness and trust is an enormously radical attitude toward life. It is choosing to hope that something is happening for us that is far beyond our own imaginings. It is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life. It is living with the conviction that God molds us in love, holds us in tenderness, and moves us away from the sources of our fear."

The Waiting

Advent reading for today...how very applicable to us waiting adoptive parents too ;)

"Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You also must be patient." James 5:7-8

"The waiting of the Advent figures in the first chapters of Luke's Gospel is not a passive waiting. They are waiting very actively. They know that what they are waiting for is growing from the ground on which they are standing. Right here is a secret for us about waiting. If we wait in the conviction that a seed has been planted and that something has already begun, it changes the way that we wait. Active waiting implies being fully present to the moment with the conviction that something is happening where we are and that we want to be present to it. A waiting person is someone who is present to the moment, believing that this moment is *the* moment. God, forgive us for frequently living in fear of the future or in regret about the past. Help us to open our hearts to you each moment." Advent Meditations from the writings of Henri Nouwen

Honoring a Birthmother

It was about the third day after receiving our referral of our precious new daughter, that I began thinking once again about her birthmother. I had been praying for her birthmother over the past 2 years, but really felt a connection to her after seeing the face of Bo Qian. I look at this referral picture and see a perfect child. Though I didn't carry her for 9 months nor have I met her, I have a great love for this child. Then I think about how her birthmother did carry her for 9 months, and perhaps during that time, she also carried the knowledge that she would have to relinquish her for whatever reasons. I feel certain that when her birthmother saw that same precious face that I see, she too loved her greatly, was heartbroken, and grieved that she would not be able to see her grow up.

Adoption is full of not only gains, but also losses. I think that recognizing these losses makes us better, more empathetic adoptive parents, who have been entrusted to care for our child due to unfortunate circumstances.

I've learned a great deal from Paula who is a Korean adoptee, as well as an adoptive parent. Many times, I've cried reading her blog. She has enabled me to see a different perspective and for that I'm grateful. Below is an excerpt from a post that she wrote:

It is impossible for me to look at our son and not think of his mother in Korea. And though I do acknowledge his first father in equal importance and significance, I think I tend to naturally and emotionally gravitate toward his mother for obvious reasons. It's perplexing to me why I think about, journal about and dream more about our son's mother than I do my own, and yet perhaps I feel so strongly connected to her because as mothers, we share an amazing little boy. A little boy who can light up a room with his mischievous smile, effortless wit and his seemingly endless abundance of energy. She is his mother. I am his mother. And together, he is our son.

Many nights when I'm rocking him to sleep I'll start talking out loud to her about our day and what he's been up to. I'll tell her about his favorite stuffed animal - affectionately known as Snuggle Pup - his voracious appetite for anything salty or sweet, and how he loves to sweep the floors with his own mini-set of cleaning supplies. I'll tell her how much he loves his tool kit, his banana-strawberry flavored Chapstick and how he absolutely abhorbs to have his nose wiped or his ears cleaned.

And I tell her that I'm sorry. Sorry for the circumstances beyond her control that separated her from her son. Sorry for the reasons that continue to exist in her, our son's and my birth country that prevented them to be able to stay together. I'm so sorry for the pain and for the loss that she will carry forever because her son is not with her. I tell her though I cannot possibly fully understand or truly know how deep her sorrow runs and how raw her pain is, that my heart is heavy and so sorry for her loss. And often times I cry, because there are just no words I can give her.

And I tell her how much we love him. How much we truly do love him. And that we talk about her every day, because she is after all, part of our family - such an important part of our family. And I tell her that we promise to honor her the very best way we know how and to show him in our words and in our actions that he is loved by all of his parents.

I think of the messages I received as a child about my own first parents. Always, always I felt that they loved me. As a child, this brought me great comfort, and on some level, I felt as if I understood them in my own way, even though I didn't have the words. Now as an adult, I've begun to ask the difficult and ambiguous questions about my Korean parents, and yet still, I feel their love.

And the tears probably come so easily to this otherwise emotionally reserved person, because in addition to the immeasurable depth of love I have for our son, I also feel in equal amounts of hurt and sadness for his mother in Korea. It is not a feeling that I believe impedes my ability to be the best mother that I can be to our son, but a feeling that hopefully makes me a mother who honors his entire being by recognizing the very real loss and pain his mother feels by being separated from him - her son.

Adoption has no easy answers - no easy way to explain the truths of our children's history. One truth that will never change is that she is his mother- first and always - and my husband and I firmly believe that we will do the best for our son when we do our best by her and our son's father.

With humble and compassionate hearts - now and always - we hope to do our best by them.

May we as adoptive parents do our best to honor our child's birthmother and birthfather.

Reflection

Two years ago today marks the day that our paperwork was officially accepted by the Chinese government -- a day that became the date on which our world would spin for the next two years. It was our official Log In Date (LID) of 12.12.05. Back then we estimated that we'd have a referral within 8 months and our baby home within a year; however, the timetable seemed to have had a mind of its own. Just shy of 2 years, from our LID we received our referral on 12.05.07. It's ironic (or is it) that two years later, this time I would be completing and sending our Acceptance Letter back to China. Twenty-four months has brought us full circle.

It's also ironic that January 31, 2007 was my official last day of work as I transitioned into becoming a full-time homemaker and mama-to-be (not expecting to have another year of waiting) and it's likely that this January 31, I'll have my baby in my arms or almost. Again, full circle. The timing never as anticipated, but still, nonetheless, significant.

Despite the 24 months of waiting for our referral, the spectrum of emotions, and the longing for a family, ironically, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Over the past year, especially, since I became a stay-at-home waiting mom, I've grown in many ways that, otherwise, I suspect I would not have. Though time was an enemy in the waiting, it has also been a gift. Ironic.

I've learned (and continue to learn) of patience and empathy, hope and endurance, love and strength from a source outside of myself. I've learned that those things for which you wait the longest, are even more precious to you; absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess. I've learned that letting go, actually gives you more control. I've learned that you never stop learning...growing...changing. Full circle. Even in waiting there is much purpose, much significance.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what Godhas done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. Ecclesiastes 3:1-12

Update

So what now!?

We're just in the midst of completing required paperwork in order to accept our referral. Once this is done, appointments with various Chinese government agencies will be arranged and then we'll receive our travel approval in a few weeks giving us the go ahead to purchase our tickets. We anticipate travel around the end of January, but this is a guess. We should know more over the next few weeks.

I just recently joined a yahoo group of other parents who have adopted from the same orphanage. What a great resource! I just saw a message posted today from a mother who is currently in Nanchang and received her baby this week. She said that the babies are doing great, all of them! There has been minimal grieving and mostly they just want to be held. Other than colds, no one has noticed anything to be concerned about. This is so encouraging! I've been hearing that the Poyang Orphanage takes great care of their children.

We continue to be enamored by our little Elyza. She has stolen our hearts. I must look at her picture a thousand times a day. I can't wait to hold her.

St. Nicholas

I just realized that on Dec. 6th, the day that we received pictures and information regarding our daughter, it was also the Feast Day of St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children!! He's revered for his example of a generous and godly life and as a protector of the needy. Stories of his life testify his love for children and all those who are in need. If you'd like to learn more about St. Nicholas and the origins of Santa Claus, click here. I look forward to adding this celebration to our Christmas and Advent traditions. How appropriate that we would receive our referral on this day. May we be inspired to live a life of generous giving to the needy and for the sake of all children.

Love for Elyza

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite.

-- Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Our Gratitude

We do not have words to express our gratitude for the outpouring of love and support that we have received from across the globe regarding our referral. We've received countless emails, yahoo group messages, blog comments, and phone calls...from the US, Africa, Egypt, England, and Iceland! Wow! We thank you from the bottom of our hearts! I hope to respond to everyone personally, but, if for some reason you don't hear from me, please know that your kindness has enriched our lives and your sweet well-wishes are now a part of our daughter's life story and our family's history. Thank you again and again. God bless you!

Introducing Elyza Bo Qian

Introducing Elyza Bo Qian

...we have fallen in love with our daughter and our hearts are full of joy!

DOB: June 24, 2007

Province: Jiangxi, Poyang SWI

About her:

A deep sleeper

laughs aloud

fond of listening to music!

has a ready smile

sometimes obstinate

fond of playing with toys

...exactly like her mama and daddy

"For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."
1 Samuel 1:27

We have a Daughter!!

We have a daughter!!!
Here is what we know so far...
Name: Bo Qian
DOB: June 24, 2007 SHE'LL BE 6 MONTHS OLD ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!!
Province: Jiangxi Province, Poyange SWI (Poyang Lake is the largest fresh-water lake in China)
Weight: 11 pounds, 58 cm length (TINY)
We'll have pictures and more info tomorrow afternoon.
Check back!

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 2 Cor. 9:15

My friend just told me that Bo Qian means "Precious Beginning".

New Rumors #2!! Wohoo!

I'm telling you...in the world of adoption, information can turn on a dime, people!! Just 10 minutes ago I was telling my mom that there's been no confirmation of what's in those packages (TA's or referrals) that were mailed. NOW I'm reading that REFERRALS ARE ARRIVING and a West Coast agency has already started making calls! One family has already posted their referral! The cut-off is rumored to be 12.14 or 12.15.

Okay, so this is it...nearly the moment for which we've been patiently (hemmm) waiting. We should receive THE CALL by Friday, but praying for TOMORROW. Wow! This is quite a thrilling day! Stay tuned! In the meantime, click HERE to watch our HAPPY DANCE!