Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Reflection

Two years ago today marks the day that our paperwork was officially accepted by the Chinese government -- a day that became the date on which our world would spin for the next two years. It was our official Log In Date (LID) of 12.12.05. Back then we estimated that we'd have a referral within 8 months and our baby home within a year; however, the timetable seemed to have had a mind of its own. Just shy of 2 years, from our LID we received our referral on 12.05.07. It's ironic (or is it) that two years later, this time I would be completing and sending our Acceptance Letter back to China. Twenty-four months has brought us full circle.

It's also ironic that January 31, 2007 was my official last day of work as I transitioned into becoming a full-time homemaker and mama-to-be (not expecting to have another year of waiting) and it's likely that this January 31, I'll have my baby in my arms or almost. Again, full circle. The timing never as anticipated, but still, nonetheless, significant.

Despite the 24 months of waiting for our referral, the spectrum of emotions, and the longing for a family, ironically, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Over the past year, especially, since I became a stay-at-home waiting mom, I've grown in many ways that, otherwise, I suspect I would not have. Though time was an enemy in the waiting, it has also been a gift. Ironic.

I've learned (and continue to learn) of patience and empathy, hope and endurance, love and strength from a source outside of myself. I've learned that those things for which you wait the longest, are even more precious to you; absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess. I've learned that letting go, actually gives you more control. I've learned that you never stop learning...growing...changing. Full circle. Even in waiting there is much purpose, much significance.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what Godhas done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. Ecclesiastes 3:1-12

2 comments:

Andrea said...

Beautiful, Courtney.
Love you.

Jodee Leader said...

This is a beautiful post. I can't wait to see you with your sweet baby girl!