Paula, over at Heart, Mind and Seoul blog writes a powerful post about weighing the losses in adoption. It's a must read for every adoptive parent.
"I believe that it is okay for children to have feelings other than gratitude and happiness about their adoption. I think it's okay to recognize their losses and to give them the language, the opportunity, a safe place and most importantly, the permission to express every emotion they may have about each step in their life story. I believe it's okay to say, "I'm so sorry for your loss" and "I'm sorry for your first parent's losses", too."